face value

It’s a pretty well known fact that I have a “natural bitch resting face,” for those of you that don’t know it basically means I look pissed off all the time. When in reality that’s just my resting face. I can’t help it, it’s my in my genes.

I also, happening to be an extremely salty person in that I can have quite the attitude as well as very strong opinions in regards to certain things.  I over-dramatize things 95% of the time, constantly roll my eyes and have the prefect “face” for just about everything. So, basically I’m kind of a bitch.

And, for the most part I’m okay with that. I already isolate myself when I’m out anyway so the “bitch face” only adds to that, I tend to unintentionally intimidate people… And I guess, this I’m still okay with, because eventually people do realize that I don’t hate them. It’s who I am, there’s nothing wrong with that.

I’m getting off topic but the point is, my friends have been questioning my ability to “give up” my saltiness for lent. They believe that it’s in my nature to be salty but I don’t believe that to be true.

Side note, just because one has a natural bitch resting face does not automatically make them a bitchy person, it just means they have a natural bitch resting face, it’s genetics, duh.

Anyways, like I was saying I don’t believe that it’s in my nature to be salty. In fact I believe that my saltiness is my coping mechanism. I’ve always had an “attitude” but I didn’t use to be salty.

After the breakup, I became salty. I was able to heal/hide my real emotions and feelings behind the saltiness. It’s my security blanket, it allows me to live on not having to expose my true emotion; the pain, suffering and devastation the came with the breakup. In the same way makeup can cover up your imperfections the saltiness keeps me covered.

It keeps me from being vulnerable and from opening up and letting my true emotions out. I guess in mind my mind I choose being salty over subjecting myself to the pain and suffering that comes with the end of a relationship. Why start a relationship know what the end looks like, feels like?

On the inside, I’m a broken and fragile person. And maybe a part of me thinks that no body wants someone as broken as me, so why open up?

But, as broken as I may be, I love with all my heart and truly care for the ones l love. It may not seem like it but truth is (“truth is” lol) I’m always thinking of ways that I can give to my loved ones.

So I guess by giving up my saltiness for lent I’m daring myself to truly open up again for the first time in years, to be vulnerable and to enable people to see that underneath the natural bitch resting face I really am sweet.

XX

 

who really is “that guy”

We’ve all seen it, whether it be on fb, twitter or instagram, trust me, we’ve seen it. And what have we seen, you ask?? It’s the various captions, the ones that never ever get old….the “this guy” and my personal favorite, “my bae.” Really? But actually though, really?

I’m sorry but having no caption is light years better than a “this guy.” Like, what do you even mean with “this guy?” What about him? Who is even is this guy?

The “this guy” is really just a failed attempt at trying to be cute and clever with your picture captions. Key phrase there, failed attempt. Just stop now before you lose the rest of your dignity.

I swear the day I ever post a photo with the caption “my bae” will probably also be the day I buy a mini van. And, if you know me, you’ll know that I would NEVER buy a mini van let alone use the caption “my bae.”

If I’m being honest here, no one cares about your “guy” or “bae” (he probably doesn’t even care) so just stop. It’s not helping you climb the social ladder any faster, in fact it’s probably helping you to climb down it…awk.

Moral of the story, (I’ll give you some credit here) you’re probably a lot smarter, wittier and clever than the caption “this guy” is. So, maybe you could use your brain to think of something a whole lot better than “this guy” and save the rest of us a headache from having to see all of your “this guy” captions because it’s not over-used or anything.

Great.

XX

not so new years resolution

I, like most other Americans set New Years resolutions. And as much as I’d like to devote my time to fulfilling those resolutions I often times find myself caught up in the beginning of the new semester and putting my resolutions on the back burner.

But, as someone who has always found comfort in my faith, the Lenten season happens to be right around the corner. So, I propose to set Lenten time goals that are attainable.

Lent, the 40 day period in which one “gives up” something in the similar way that Jesus fasted for 40 days in the desert before being nailed to the cross, is ultimately a time for self-reflection.

And as I reflect on my new year so far, I know I have failed to maintain my resolutions. I have made the active effort to keep my room clean, but that’s about the only resolution that has “stuck.” So, with that being said and with Ash Wednesday a little over a week away, I have set my goals, they are as follows:

First, is the typical “What are you going to give up?” goal. And that would be that I am giving up sweets. As someone who often goes back for a second helping of dessert at dinner. I think it’s safe to say that I can go with out these delicious sweet treats for a bit.

Second, I like to have a better attitude/outlook. I would define myself as the type of person that has a very distinct opinion on certain subjects and I generally come off as intimating to others. Which, is funny because I’m actually pretty shy, I just have a natural bitch resting face (I can’t help that one, sorry). So I suppose I’ll try to smile more and be more patient/understanding in situations that generally annoy me.

Lastly, I want to make the effort to blog nightly. It’s been so long since I’ve last posted and I forget how therapeutic writing is for me. So with that being said look out for some sort of post from me on a nightly basis. I really want to start doing some book reviews on here too because I love to read and I always have something to say.

But actually, I always have something to say.
Happy fasting friends!
XX

long distance lies

Long distance relationships aren’t easy. And it seems like the majority of these relationships don’t last. Perhaps, we will never truly know why it is that these relationships come to an end, but the fact is they do. Whatever the reason may be, the breakup is no easy feat. No breakup easy, but from my personal experiences long distance breakups take a greater toll on those effected.

In a long distance relationship you work so hard to keep the bonds and love created between two people alive and in touch. But the truth is, as hard as you many try, those bonds and that love becomes strained due to the distance. Everyone thinks their relationship is strong and that it can stand the test of time but when distance is factored into the equation most relationships suffer and ultimately fail. And, yes, it’s sad. In fact, it’s extremely sad. No one deserves to suffer in that way.

And I would know. As one who was in a long distance relationship I have ridden the roller coaster of emotional ups and downs that go into trying to maintain a long distance relationship. And I have experienced the pain, heartbreak and devastation that occurs when the relationship comes to an end.

As I reminisce on my own experience I remember all the nights I cried myself to sleep, all the days I simply went through the motions not even living at all and thinking that I had nothing at all, feeling alone and isolated from the world around me.

Though, now I may be cynical, blunt, obnoxious and shallow at times, I’m okay. And I made it. It wasn’t easy, I won’t lie. It took me a long time to make peace with what had happened, but eventually I did. Because, I realized that with the distance I would never get the closure I once so badly longer for.

But, moral of the story, it’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to cry, in fact it’s healthy to cry because it shows you care, it’s show that you love that person. And, you may always love that person, you may always care for that person as I do. Because that’s how relationships work.

No one expects you to bounce back and be happy-go-lucky and jolly in two seconds, take time to heal and know that you are not alone, you have everyone you who loves you within an arms distance.

XX

mirror, mirror on the wall you’re really not that pretty after all

Sigh (like actually). I am just thoroughly confused here friends. I really just don’t understand why people 1 take selfies and 2 think that it’s okay to then post those selfies on social media sites. Seriously, I would do a lot more undesirable things before I would venture to instagram a selfie. Earth to selfie takers, selfies make you look stupid and desperate for attention (period). And then when on top of the selfie you put some lame-a$$ quote about life or whatever, you only look stupider and even more desperate for the attention. Well…news flash nobody gives a f about you, your selfie and cliche quote. Seriously, get over yourself.  Whatever happened to the good old days of asking someone to take a photo of you? Really though, I’d like to know where those days went. Also, I’d like to know exactly what it is about a selfie that makes people want to take one and then share it…gag, literally, gag. I can’t even. Like don’t take a selfie and then caption “studying,” because clearly you’re not studying. If you took the time to fix your hair and makeup just to take a selfie that doesn’t qualify as studying. If you want to caption “studying” then it better be a picture of your books and a giant cup of coffee because frankly that’s what studying is (period). I can’t handle all these selfies blowing up my news feeds anymore, like if it gets any worse I might have to resort to un-friending people…and seriously that not okay. And believe me I will un-friend you. So for everyone’s sake, including my own, stop posting selfies.

And I leave you all you “selfie taking fools” with this:

“Showing off is the fool’s idea of glory.” -Bruce Lee

Now that’s how you successfully use a quote. Boom.

xx the Queen

“girl, hold my earrings”

Let’s talk about sub-tweets. Look I may be a pretty salty person but I rarely if ever sub-tweet. Okay, let’s be honest, maybe I’ve sub-tweeted a time or two but let me just say they were some well crafted sub-tweets. And just to reiterate I mean well crafted. Unfortunately, yes, these sub-tweets were removed from Twitter, but I took screenshots of them for the record book. LOL. If ya every want to see them maybe I’ll post them one of these days, maybe. LOL again. Anyways that’s enough about my history with sub-tweets, moving on to the general concept that is the sub-tweet. Okay, basically isn’t a sub-tweet something that you don’t have the balls to say to the persons face?? I mean, really? The fact that a person has to resort to sub-tweeting says a lot about a person. Frankly speaking, it kind of just says to the world that you are a weak person because you can’t just man up and say it to their face. And you know what? That makes me really sad because I’m the kind of person that says it like it is and I don’t having a problem saying it to your face (just ask my friends, LOL). For example, if I don’t like the striped shirt you’re wearing, you better believe that I’m going to tell you I don’t like it. But, on a serious note I really think that constructive criticism and other issues one my resort to sub-tweeting about are best handled when done face to face in person. Look, I love twitter and social media just as much as the next person but it sad to see that people lack the ability to have conversations face to face. Yeah, social media makes confrontations much easier to handle but it’s so much less genuine (I could insert a great story about how my ex broke up with me through a text here but, I don’t want to bore you). Anyways, I mean where did the days go when you used to hash things out under the bleachers after school? All these twitter and Facebook “wars” aren’t cool, they’re stupid and most of the time they only happen because people want the attention. I mean why else would you feel the need to sub-tweet? Well I’ll tell you, it’s because you want people to see it, you crave the attention you could get from a sub-tweet. But in the end nobody cares about your sub-tweet and nothing gets resolved because you couldn’t say it to their face. Like you seriously think that your so cool because you sub-tweet, well sorry to say that your really not. It doesn’t make you look any cooler it just makes you look pathetic and desperate for attention. So, to all you sub-tweeters out there, I guess I now know who all the attention-seeking whores of the world are.

XX

go to jail, like in monopoly

I would just like to say something here and get it officially on the record, because I’ve probably only said this a million times this week. I HATE stripes, specifically clothing with HORIZONTAL stripes (most vertical stripes are OK). -Please note anytime I refer to stripes I’m referring to horizontal stripes.- People STOP wearing strips, they are not attractive, like not attractive at all. Literally when I see someone wearing stripes my face scrunches up like it would if I were to smell spoiled milk, gag. Okay, I’m going to let you all in on a little secret here, stripes, they make you look wider and I don’t think anyone wants to look wider. I honestly think the only people that might (key word, might) want to look wider are guys that are really skinny, and I mean really skinny, like cross country runner skinny. And even if I were that skinny I would still debate wearing stripes. Seriously, whenever I see a picture of someone wearing stripes I do this whole exaggerated roll of the eyes thing (my friends can vouch for this, yes, I actually have friends…). Its one thing to wear stripes out in public, but it’s a whole other thing to be photographed in stripes, because doesn’t the camera add like ten pounds or something? I don’t know, but still. I must admit though, that there might be an occasional time for stripes, like maybe if you’re on the east coast going for that whole prepy nautical vibe and the stripes are navy and white/cream, and even then I would still be cautious. But the fact of the matter is I really don’t like stripes and I don’t think you all should either, if I were you I’d go burn all the striped clothing you own just like I burned all my photos of my ex and I (I didn’t really do that, I told my mom I wanted to…she got real mad, different story for a different day). But really burn them, just get rid of them somehow, and please don’t fuel the fashion industries desire to sell striped clothing to you by buying it. So, if you going to take anything away from reading this it’s that I actually have friends…no but really don’t wear stripes. Just stay far, far away from stripes, please.

XX

honey, I’m home…

So it’s been awhile friends (or foes, who knows). Yes, I have been absent from the blogging scene for a while. You might claim that I’ve neglected my duty to be a loyal and faithful blogger, call it what you want, I don’t really care. But, really that’s beside the point. Point is, I’m back,  and I don’t intend to go anywhere anytime soon so lets all cuddle up under a blanket by a nice fire and get comfortable… oh, god I’m actually attempting to be affectionate, gag. Anyways, I’m hoping to get a legitimate post up within the next day or so, so stay tuned (omg, I’m sorry to be so cliche). In the mean time, refresh yourself with some of my favorite previous posts (which i have included in my sort-of redo of the blog) and get ready. Until then.

XX

 

why valentine

So it’s the day after Valentine’s day, and I feel like I’m expected to post something about how my Valentines day went even though you probably don’t care. Well to be honest, Valentine’s day didn’t really feel special. It really felt like a normal day in the life of michcern. And this is a good thing because I hate Valentine’s day, and don’t mistake me saying that for me complaining about being single because I’m not. For the record I am completely OKAY with being single. I hate Valentine’s day because in all honesty it’s just a holiday that never lives up to your expectations. People in relationships try too hard to make Valentine’s day something out of a fairytale but it somehow never works out that way. There really is no better way to tell someone you love them than by looking them in the eyes and saying the words “I Love you.” Why is there a need for all the extra effort that goes into planning the perfect Valentine’s day for your significant other? In the end it’s just another day. Why is it that professing your love to someone means some much more on Valentine’s day than any other day of the year? People expectations are too high in this regard, it’s as if to say that on any other given day of the year when you say “I Love you” to your significant other it’s not good enough. Why? Because compared to what it supposedly means to say it on Valentine’s day, which is simply just a day, means more than what it is to say it on any other day. Yes, it’s nice to get a piece of jewelry or a dozen roses and a box of chocolates but why do we think that it should only be given on Valentine’s day. It’s not to say that the only day out of the year you should show appreciation for your lover is Valentine’s day, you should constantly be reminding them why you love them everyday and not just Valentine’s day. Maybe that’s the problem with people today, they have put so much pressure on Valentine’s day as a means to show how much they love you that they think it’s okay to not show that appreciation the other 364 days of the year. I may not be an expert or a matchmaker but love is constant, love exists everyday, not just on Valentine’s day. I think that’s what people forget sometimes. I may not have had a boy to spend my Valentine’s day feeling loved with. But I did have my family to spend it with and their love that they show for me everyday of the year. We are loved in one way or another, you don’t have to be in a relationship to be love or to love. Maybe that’s why they say home is where the heart is, because when your at home your surrounded by love.

XX

p.s. I still hope you all had a wonderful Valentine’s day.

v-day

So, yeah, Valentines day…aka the most hated day in American by all single people, buy mainly single girls. I bet it’s the day that the most single people think about wanting to kill themselves. Oh, so you don’t have a Valentine? Uh, no. Oh…I’m sorry. Really? Because I think what you REALLY meant to say is you’re life sucks, look at this giant teddy bear my BOYFRIEND gave me, he’s so thoughtful isn’t he? Actually no he’s not, it was probably 99 cents at the thrift store down the street but thanks for the “slap” in the face anyways. Honestly, what is Valentines day? A day that husbands, fiances, boyfriends, lovers are forced to overuse the phrase “I love you” when chances are they probably don’t mean it. A day where they get suckered into spending an outrageous amount of money on that perfect gift that says “I love you” when chances are they still probably don’t mean it. A day to satisfy the insecurities of women in relationships across the US and to give them the extra attention that they probably don’t need. Actually, it’s the day that St. Valentine was executed, and what says “I love you” more than an execution? It’s interesting that we celebrate love on a day where the “the end” for St. Valentine was in the air. Isn’t it? Maybe it’s to say that love ends. Love isn’t forever. If love was forever, there would be no such thing as divorce and people wouldn’t cheat. But they do, ultimately we destroy our own love. It’s the things that we do and say, how we change and grow or not, that cause relationships to end. For love to end. So this Valentines day, love you first. And if you’re single buy yourself a big box of chocolates at the end of the day because after surviving and dealing with the lovey-dovey mentality that is Valentines day, you really f***ing deserve it.

XX