It’s a pretty well known fact that I have a “natural bitch resting face,” for those of you that don’t know it basically means I look pissed off all the time. When in reality that’s just my resting face. I can’t help it, it’s my in my genes.
I also, happening to be an extremely salty person in that I can have quite the attitude as well as very strong opinions in regards to certain things. I over-dramatize things 95% of the time, constantly roll my eyes and have the prefect “face” for just about everything. So, basically I’m kind of a bitch.
And, for the most part I’m okay with that. I already isolate myself when I’m out anyway so the “bitch face” only adds to that, I tend to unintentionally intimidate people… And I guess, this I’m still okay with, because eventually people do realize that I don’t hate them. It’s who I am, there’s nothing wrong with that.
I’m getting off topic but the point is, my friends have been questioning my ability to “give up” my saltiness for lent. They believe that it’s in my nature to be salty but I don’t believe that to be true.
Side note, just because one has a natural bitch resting face does not automatically make them a bitchy person, it just means they have a natural bitch resting face, it’s genetics, duh.
Anyways, like I was saying I don’t believe that it’s in my nature to be salty. In fact I believe that my saltiness is my coping mechanism. I’ve always had an “attitude” but I didn’t use to be salty.
After the breakup, I became salty. I was able to heal/hide my real emotions and feelings behind the saltiness. It’s my security blanket, it allows me to live on not having to expose my true emotion; the pain, suffering and devastation the came with the breakup. In the same way makeup can cover up your imperfections the saltiness keeps me covered.
It keeps me from being vulnerable and from opening up and letting my true emotions out. I guess in mind my mind I choose being salty over subjecting myself to the pain and suffering that comes with the end of a relationship. Why start a relationship know what the end looks like, feels like?
On the inside, I’m a broken and fragile person. And maybe a part of me thinks that no body wants someone as broken as me, so why open up?
But, as broken as I may be, I love with all my heart and truly care for the ones l love. It may not seem like it but truth is (“truth is” lol) I’m always thinking of ways that I can give to my loved ones.
So I guess by giving up my saltiness for lent I’m daring myself to truly open up again for the first time in years, to be vulnerable and to enable people to see that underneath the natural bitch resting face I really am sweet.